Monday, October 31, 2005

I Want Sex AND Candy

TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX.....


10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you so me.

6. It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.

5. Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.

4. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. Less guilt the morning after.

1. You can do the whole neighborhood.

Halloween Was a Bust!


Well...the night started off with the kids coming around trick or treating. The first group of kids were so cute and were offered up as much candy at our house as they wanted, so they polite and took two pieces. They were all dressed up and cute! After that, it went completely downhill from there. All the other kids weren't even dressed up and they were carrying around plastic grocery bags! How damn sad. At least throw on some face paint or some crap....but give me a break! Yes, I admit, I went trick or treating every year until the age of 18, I know a little too old, but at least I dressed in costume and put in a little effort. Damn kids, want something for nothing.

Well, after all the kids came around...Danny and I decided to watch a movie. We're sitting on the couch and all of a sudden I see something bright outside. At first I thought that one of the pumpkins had caught fire....then the doorbell rang! Danny got up to see who it was...nobody! Ah...but wait, there was something....a flaming bag of dog poop! Yes...it seems people actually still do that. Of course, my mind flashes back to "Billy Madison"...."Don't stomp it out with your boots Danny!" We looked around the neighborhood...no signs of anybody or anything. Danny swore he saw a truck drive off...so I think of the only people I know with trucks...(you know who you are!) So...I had to make a phone call and check on some whereabouts! Needless to say, I' hoping it was just a random prank! Cuz that was damn gross! But the night was eventful at least. We took a picture...but its so disgusting, I can't even bring myself to post it.